So, I was ordering lunch recently at Freddy’s – my new fav chain for awesome steak burgers and straw fries – when the manager walked by and we struck up a conversation. It turns out that he (Mike) was a real nice guy and the conversation flowed along quite well. Keep in mind that Mike was a college grad with a four year stint in the Army under his belt. He looked kind of like this.
While Mike and I stood there talking about everything from what his future plans were to how ’bout them Hogs at the Cotton Bowl, in walked this guy.
And his bother…
Strutting like two men who had forgotten one of their boots, Wangster Mcflatbill and his bra, Darryl, were making a grand entrance. Both boys were wearing a type of hat with a bill that could double as a boat paddle, and Darryl had even remembered to wear his Miami jersey to complete his sartorial portfolio. They were here for that day of days. Yeah, that’s right, Momma was gonna be happy cuz her two boys was goin’ to interview fo dey feurst job!
“Hey mae, ya’ll all got a mainager up in heur? Or wud dat be you mae?”
Ahh, nothing like a little wangster talk let the boss know that you would never sneeze on a burger. Oh, and with that dialect, mouthy customers must certainly be your forte.
Now, there is a part of me that wants to cut the poor bastards some slack. That part of me is all too well aware that the deranged eyes of Mcflatbill and Darryl see this deceptive image in the mirror as they leave home every morning.
It is likely that they never had a proper mother to tell them, “No dear. You don’t look like Denzel’s badass cop character, Alonzo Harris. You look more like…. well, think Sacha Noam Baron Cohen (aka, Ali G.). Yeah son, you look kinda like this guy”.
I have a friend who shall remain unnamed who works as a manager for a very large company. One of his responsibilities at work is to interview new applicants. Before he held the position that he holds today, he was trained by the United States Marine Corps to pay attention to details. It was very interesting to listen, one day, as he explained to me how he really does take notice if someone has taken a little extra time to hammer out the details of their wardrobe before they come in for the interview. A pressed shirt; straight tie; shined shoes; he’s going to notice those things. They may not be the deciding factor, but that’s just it! They may be! The qualifications between you and the next guy might be so close that it really does come down to who was better prepared for the interview.
So in closing kids, I leave you this bit of wisdom. If you’re having trouble finding a good job, lose the wangster attitude, take the bolts out of your ears, and start to take yourself seriously. After all if you don’t take yourself seriously why should a prospective employer?
“…don’t be too serious about not taking yourself too seriously.”
– Howard Ogden