GMS Perhaps Not Entirely Unlike PMS


I’m not feeling nice today. In fact, I haven’t written anything in a while simply because if you haven’t  nice things to say…

And I damn sure don’t.

If you’re in a good mood, go away. Have lunch at Panera; savor an extra strong joe from Starbucks; frolic and play, but whatever you do, make sure you leave here quick.

The President? Congress? Iran? Gas prices? Primaries? Phony “Christian” deadbeats? Increasingly ungoverned government? Crippled education system?

Yeah , yeah, those too; albeit, today it’s something more than all that; today, my concern is for my way of life.

You see, I have a great life. Indeed a life understandably well worth proudly passing on to my children. Please know that this lifestyle didn’t come free, but it did come freely. It didn’t come from hand-outs, but it did come about because I was free to choose it. Of course, when I chose it, it didn’t happen the next day. In fact, it didn’t happen the following year, or even the year after that. When I chose this life, I began to pursue it… only I looked in all the wrong places. I made mistakes; made decisions that I thought would bring about different ends. Disaster was the immediate result.

I failed more than once.

Trying to do the right thing left me living in my car; hooked up with the wrong crowd; at times, jobless; financially destroyed; hungry; needing help, yet too young and too proud to ask for it. Now, understand that I wasn’t damned; instead, I was a work in progress – And an ugly one at that.

I’m a strong person. I’m strong willed too. I know best… always have. It takes a horse’s kick to turn this horse’s ass around. But it does turn. Yes, I do learn… later than sooner.

I was never really homeless. You see, I had a home, only my job didn’t afford me the gas money to drive back to it on a regular basis. Thus, there were many nights that I spent in my car, parked out in a field only a few short miles from work. If I had to do it over again (I say this with great care), I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I never blamed anyone for my troubles, and I never considered it the duty of anybody else to take me in and feed me. I never became angry at anybody else because I felt that I merited their help. In fact, I never once became disheartened. Soon I would make that necessary turn, I just knew it.

When I look back, I marvel at the beauty of it… despite all of its’ ugliness. Yes, the fascinating beauty of a person’s freedom to mess up, then on that same token, the freedom to recover. Practical homelessness and hunger are ugly things, and they’re no fun to live through; nevertheless, they are indeed a very natural byproduct of a truly free type of freedom. You know, the freedom to invest poorly, spend foolishly, drink shamelessly, and even the freedom to choose where one is going to work, never knowing that massive layoffs were in store. As long as we’ve the freedom to choose, we’ve the freedom to make mistakes. As long as long as we’ve the freedom to make mistakes, we’ve the freedom to recover from them.

I have no respect for a man or woman who falls and never gets back up. Maybe it takes them a week; maybe it takes them five years. Still, as long as we live in a free country, there remains no excuse to throw one’s hands up in despair and defeat.

“It’s too difficult”, you say? Fine lay there.

“I need a little help”, you say? Now that may well be valid, but what if it doesn’t come? And, what if it does? What then?

Now, on to the issue at hand; the issue that causes me such grief; the issue that quite literally could change my way of life.

Choir Boy Syndrome.

You heard me. Choir boys!

When I was a kid, girly-men were a particular group of people of whom we made constant fun. Such men have now become the standard of “manliness”. Real men are either not permitted to behave as such, or they are altogether ceasing to exist.

You know what I mean. We see it in the commercials with the guys at the football game. Only they’re not watching the game; instead, they’re bickering over who has the fasted friggin’ cell phone!

“Oh… That’s so twenty seconds ago”

Then, of course, there’s the apoplectic guy who I saw recently at a theme park railing some employee about how bent out of shape he was that there was a smoking area next to a craft booth where he had just been shopping. Apparently there was one little old man smoking and, god forbid it, but this guy had happened to smell a little smoke. “If I wanted to f’ing die, I’d go stand in front of a f’ing train!!!” the guy screamed. My wife and I were laughing, but this attitude is indicative of a serious problem.

Girly Man Syndrome. Yep. And it’s spreading quickly.

A few months ago, Anderson Cooper played a video of two guys racing their corvettes on the street. They wrecked. Yeah, not cool, but Cooper went a step further than proclaiming it “uncool”. “We need to find these guys and make sure that they are punished. They need to serve jail time over this!” Cooper complained.

Really Andy? Jail time? Come on. If you’re a guy and you’ve never raced your car when/where you probably shouldn’t have… well then it’s likely that you, too, suffer from Girly Man Syndrome. Simple as that.

Harsh? Nah.

My wife was recently at the Wal-Mart home office, in Bentonville, Arkansas. I was there also, but I waited in the car while she went in to run her errand. When she came back out, she was shaking her head and laughing.

“Where have all the manly men gone?” she asked.


She went on to explain that, while she was waiting inside, she observed women having important meetings, with notepads, black coffee and discipline. Obversely, she discovered several men sitting/standing about, and all of them were either playing with their toys (iphones, ipads, laptops, etc.) or they were huddled in a corner raving about the lettuce wraps that they had for lunch and complimenting each other on their choice of shoes. Geez.

Examples are endless. Don’t help the girl in distress, she has a phone; don’t spank your kids, they might cry; don’t grade F’s with red ink, someone might get hurt feelings, etc.

Girly Man Syndrome. You’re damn right.

Christian Bale gets mad at some idiot lighting guy, and we have to hear about it for months.

“Christian doesn’t deserve his name!” They said.

“I thought we had evolved better than this” They said.

“Any man who gets angry is clearly still a monkey” They said.

After hearing Bale’s rant, I’ve gotta tell ya, I’ve gone off worse than that at my car keys for getting lost.

I wanna say somethin’. And I want it to be clear. Presently, the United States is a country that many other countries want to put an end to. They want to take us down.

“Well it’s because they don’t like us, we need to make’em like us better”

If you just said that, then you’re just a stupid fuck misinformed. Throughout history, countries have taken over other countries, not because they didn’t like them, not because they had a problem with their way of life. Countries take over other countries because they want their resources, and because they want the power that comes with greater territory.

And so I ask you, who would you rather have defending our wall while you sleep comfortably. You should think about that because the wall will sure as hell be attacked. When the enemy strikes, I shudder to think that they may well be met by a bunch of lettuce wrap eating Panera snobs.

I have to tell you, it’ll likely either be these choir boys or else a group of guys who may have raced their cars from a stop light or two. Who will fight our future wars, the guy who watches “The Bachelor” while his wife pays the bills, or the guy who may have messed up and yelled a few cuss words to some poor schmuck at work that day? You choose. Or maybe the freedom to choose has passed us by. Perhaps because we are breeding a generation of men who are having their balls cut off. Yea, a generation of men who are preoccupied with getting in touch with their feminine side.

I say we are raising a generation of choir boys. Yes, choir boys with Girly Man Syndrome.

Look, there are just things that boys do. I’m listing them because I’m afraid we’ve all but forgotten them.

Boys fight

boys roughhouse

boys rip holes in their jeans

Boys build things

Boys fix things

Boys dream of war

Boys go to war

Boys are forever changed by war

Boys hold the door open for girls

Boys get dirty

Boys race

Boys play to win

Boys protect girls

And most importantly, boys look up to their dads to show them how to be boys, and eventually how to be men. Boys need their dads to tell them that boys don’t do some of the things that girls do. Boys need to see something in their dad that makes them want to be like him. And boys need to see their dads being real men. Otherwise, I can safely assure you that your way of life is all too temporary. It may not end with your life, but it may. And it will surely end within another generation or two.

Thanks for reading.


66 thoughts on “GMS Perhaps Not Entirely Unlike PMS

  1. Oh I hear your frustration,disappointment and disgust. You know from my prior posts their are so many things we agree on. With this presidential race upon us, I wake up each day in disgust of where are nation is going. I hope and pray in November we take a different direction in which I can feel proud again to hear the sentence “Please welcome the president of the united states.


    1. Yes, you and I would even make good friends, I should think. We would likely talk endlessly over coffee and… apple cider vinegar! Lol.

      Thanks for visiting. Your comments are always cherished, my friend.


  2. Love this, Nathan. Your point about dads really cinched it up well. I think the pattern of broken homes that we have in this country don’t do us any favors. I believe it is important to have sympathy, but I also believe it is important to do everything you can for yourself. I’ve watched people struggle firsthand, but I have also known that you sometimes need a bit of a helping hand…and that is where the Church should step in.

    Great post!


    1. Oh wow! You liked this!? Cool, and I’m glad to hear that.

      Way to point out that it is very important to help those in need. So many Christians get stuck on their political or spiritual soap boxes, and completely overlook this very important point. And I agree that churches should be stepping in to these situations in a very proactive way. Not waiting for these people to come crying for help, but actively seeking them out.

      Great comment. Absolutely great.


      1. Yes, I did. Very much so! I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding “the bootstrap myth”, but you have a great life example to back up what you are saying. That is admirable!! (There is nothing that irritates me more when privileged middle-class men tell others they can do it themselves when they had things handed to them. Because, sure, you can do it yourself, but it’s miserable and requires horrible sacrifices. You understand that).

        Oh, the lovely soap-box… there is a time and a place for a sermon. This week, I saw a post on the facebook page for The Resurgence (a doctrinally solid website/organization), and it said, “The goal of a lecture is to gain information, the goal of motivation is action, the goal of a sermon is to ignite worship” (Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones). So I think that our personal interactions need to be something else entirely. Just thoughts.


  3. Well there was a lot in that Nathan that I think you needed to get off ya chest
    Cant say there was anything in there that I didn’t agree with , I think Australia has a good dose
    of all those girly syndromes too ,Aussie Ian aka Emu


    1. There was a lot here, wasn’t there? I can’t tell you how much it has already helped my attitude just getting this post out there.

      It seems like I heard that Australia has more than its fair share of GMS. After having watched “Crocodile Dundee”, I must say I’m a little disheartened to hear that.

      Glad that you stopped by Ian. I always look forward to your visits 🙂


  4. Just because you mention the two things in the same post, I am curious now.

    You discuss your own choices to make mistakes and do things that maybe weren’t the best for your health or development. I’m sure many readers (myself included) have been proud of making the same choices and the same *mistakes*. The part that tweaked my interest was the mention of fathers and role models towards the end of the post.

    You need not share if you are uncomfortable and it is most certainly not my intention to make you feel that way. What I am wondering is if there is -at all- a connection between people who make these *mistakes* and the presence or lack of presence of said role models in our lives.

    Women being the way they are is understandable. Our mothers and aunts etc. have been telling us for years to buck up and be tough because no one is going to take care of us. Men, on the other hand, are moving towards being more feminine. Have the generations of men before them gone soft, or just given up being role models and have stopped caring? It makes me wonder what your perspective is on this reason that men are becoming so ‘gentle’.

    Last thought, the reason I refer to mistakes with stars is because a mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn anything from it.

    Great post, glad you could vent in such a constructive way about your feelings. Thanks for sharing, Nate.


    1. Kat,

      Good questions. I did mention two things, and I didn’t tie them together. I hoped that the connection would emerge for my readers; however, I knew that this could be an issue.

      I did have a great and do have a great dad who was a very strong male role model for me while I was growing up. I don’t think that a strong father figure will eliminate the silly choices that boys and young men make. I do think that a strong father figure teaching a boy how to be a boy, and eventually a man, can eliminate some of the girlishness, timidity, and self consciousness that we see so much from men today.

      Absent, overworked, disinterested fathers seems to be where this problem starts. I work a lot, and I’m gone a lot. But when I’m home, I go on walks with my kids, I wrestle and toss them around the living room, I teach them manners, I discipline, I read bedtime stories (always embellished). I’m so far from perfect, but I can say with perfect honesty that I do my absolute best when it comes to being a good dad.

      Thanks for a great comment! I always love it when you swing by 🙂


  5. great read i think we all need to experience hardship to appreciate what we eventually have and achieved im quite ashamed of my government hes the worst pm ever bringing britain to its knees and we all follow like sheep have a lovely week xxjen


      1. if im on your blogroll list try clicking there . always as somehow wp has messed up and got deleted old site tied in with new one can you let me know if it works from your blogroll xxjen


      2. Before, it was just saying that site was deleted. Now, it says the the site is marked private by its’ user. I clicked to get permission. Let’s keep working at this, I want to come visit!

        Can you just let my know what URL I need to type into my address bar?


  6. Wow!! Quite the rant today, my friend! Haha!

    I can understand every single one of your frustrations…especially “Don’t help the girl in distress, she has a phone; don’t spank your kids, they might cry; don’t grade F’s with red ink, someone might get hurt feelings, etc.” I’m pretty sure that you’ve just written exactly what most people are thinking.

    I do, however, have one question: what do you think about Pastor Mark Driscoll and some of his ideas on “girly men”?


    1. Yeah. I needed to rant. Now I probably need to stop ranting.

      I don’t know what I think about Driscoll. He’s edgy, but I think I like him. Especially what he says about manliness.

      I don’t know. What do you think?


      1. I get where he’s coming from regarding manliness, etc. but I think he’s far too extreme in his viewpoints…he’s more like a Christian bully than anything else, in my opinion. I just can’t see how mocking others (which Driscoll is well known to do) is even remotely like Christ. Again, I understand that he’s trying to bring about some kind of reformation regarding manliness within the church, but sometimes the manliest thing a man can do, is keep his mouth shut and pray for his fellow man.

        Just saying.. 😉

        Hmm…maybe I need to write a rant as well. Haha


      2. I was kind of thinking this (although I think we Christians are really too good at picking other Christians apart) I think I like several of his view points… BUT…!!! (And this is a big but :-D)

        His presentation lacks fiber. It lacks… maturity. He needs to mellow; to ferment, in a sense. He’s like sour wine.


        That’s it. He will soon be palatable, but will need to age first. Not that he needs to grow older, but that he needs to sit, for a while, on the shelf and observe.

        I’ll tell you, Christy, he sounds a lot like this post! Only… all the time 🙂

        Still, I like a lot of what he has to say.


  7. Massive post. I wonder how long it takes you to write one, takes me ages in between work laundromat etc!

    I thought the aggro man at having smelt smoke was too much unnecessary venting of testosterone but mostly do agree. If you’ve read my whole blog you’d know I have a ‘thing’ for men in uniform, they who Serve & Protect. Ah sigh. So I don’t mind a bit of strength & passion in a man, no. But men who go aggro at the traffic lights & nonsense, pulling tyre levers out of their boot & confronting other drivers – again, too much.

    Loved the bit about ‘the man watching The Bachelor while his wife pays the bills’…. Well observed!


    1. I time myself. This post took just over an hour to write, and 30 mins to edit. “Colorblind” took just under 45 mins with no editing (I have been finding typos in it ever since 😉

      When I first started writing, something like this would have taken at least a full, uninterrupted afternoon. Most of that time would have been spent organizing thoughts.

      That being said, I find that I can appreciate slow writers or, in your case, distracted writers every bit as much as fast ones 🙂

      Glad you visited, and commented. Thanks for answering my question on the other issue. You thoughts are always valued here.


  8. I was beginning to wonder where your posts were! These are my sentiments exactly! Although I used to believe that only girly men live in California and while a majority of them still do …it has spread to other states, unfortunately.

    When I was in college I wouldn’t give a second thought to guys who didn’t hurry and open the door for me. It was probably me that scared them off since I would open the door for myself but if the guy didn’t make it a point to walk faster than me so HE was able to open the door for me ….well then I make it a point to NEVER let it go any further than a mere friendship. Harsh, I know.

    Sadly, where are the dads to show their sons how to behave like men?


    1. Hi Mel!

      I know. My posting habits have become insufferably shameful. I run hundreds of topics through a filter in my mind until I like what I’ve come up with. Sometimes this causes me to post less than I’d like.

      Wow. You do have high standards. He’d never get a second chance huh? I’m fine with it then. I say, buck up boys. Buck up if you want to get the good ones!


  9. The Dinskster! Way to go, man! Never have I read or heard a more concise, well-put-together rant. By definition, it probably doesn’t even qualify, but you go, man! As for who I’d rather have fighting on the front lines, I say send the weenies first, to both weed them out and then provide cover for the real men to come in afterwards. Sorry it took so long to get here; following now!


    1. What’s up Mr. President? Way to not forget the little people. I need to get back over there and see how things are on your site. Slowed down a bit by now, I’d imagine?

      Yeah, yeah. Send in the weenies. If for no other reason than to dull the opposition’s swords.

      I think you may be right. More of a declamation? Dunno. Not a rant though.


    1. Hi Jen.

      Thanks for the good wishes. I have a lot on my plate this week, thus I needed some good karma.

      I’m glad to hear from you, and happy as always that you stopped by. 🙂


  10. This is amazing, and I absolutely love it. So nice to hear this from a REAL man. You and my husband would get along very well, I believe. 🙂


    1. Lol! Thanks Cat.

      I bet your husband and I would get along well. Especially if he’s one of the few who still understands what masculinity is supposed to be. 🙂

      Thanks for reading.


      1. Oh okay, good. 🙂 Thanks for your comment, and thanks for clarifying.

        By the way, I’ve enjoyed what little of your blog I’ve had time to read. Very well done IMHO. 🙂


      2. Hey, by the way, is that ink on your body? Or is that a picture of someone else.

        That’s really cool. I have a close friend that has a tattoo in the same area – and every bit that large – of a chess kink cutting down a pawn. 😉

        That much real estate is a big commitment, but it looks stunning.


    1. Hey thanks! Wow… I’m really happy and honored that you thought of me for this award.

      Just between you and me, I’ve been secretly coveting this very award for a little while now. 😉
      Now, I’m off to check on the rules.


    1. Hey Jenny! I’ve been doing a lot of photo blogging lately. Don’t know if you’ve seen my photo blog, but it is the only link in my blogroll.

      Would love to come say hello, but have always been unable to. I don’t really use a blogroll except for my other blog, but you said that adding you to my blogroll may be the only way to come see your site???????

      That’s odd. Would like to check out your site without adding you to my blogroll at least until I’ve seen what I’m adding!!! 😉

      But even then, I just don’t really use a blogroll.

      Always good of you to visit. I’m glad to see you whenever you stop by.


    1. Hey Little Miss. I’m sorry for my delayed response (that is unless I already have responded, and have forgotten).

      This nomination means a great deal to me. I’m thrilled that you find me beautiful. Or were you talking about my blog? Damn, that’s what all the girls are saying these days. It’s all about the blog, and I am once more shoved aside. For shame. 😉

      Lol, in all seriousness… You thinking of me for this award really was a thrill. You know how it is… you put your heart into something, someone notices and rewards you… I don’t know, it really is a great feeling.
      Thanks again.


    1. Thank you Kellie. I’ve been a little distant lately, and I really appreciate your continued support.

      I’m glad that you liked this post. In fact I’m glad that anyone did, for that matter. It seemed to me to be goin out, just a bit, on a limb. Thus I assumed that I’d get some negative feedback. But it appears like I’m not the only one getting a little burned out on the choir boys. 🙂


  11. Hey Nathan

    I thought of you about 3 weeks ago & thought ‘I wonder why I haven’t heard from you’ as I was sure I followed you way back ago. I was out & about & couldn’t check at the time, & time passed, & only now I’ve been able to check – I DO still follow you, but I haven’t received any new posts from you. I read this, & see where you’re at. It’s great you didn’t delete your blog, despite your negative feelings. Hey, there can’t be positive without negative, so ride it out.

    Take care – you said in this post you have a great life. Continue enjoying it, hey 🙂


    1. Thanks. Glad that you thought of me. Really I’ve just been so busy lately that I’ve had little time to read online, and no time to write.
      It’s funny that you mentioned the idea of closing my blog. I have been thinking of doing so. Not because I’m in a funk, but because I’m kind of sickened by wordpress. The owners of this site really are such simple minded people. And biased too. If I see another FP’d post about being vegetarian, transgender, a girly man, a manly woman, or a psychotic pseudo-environmentalist…. I’m gonna puke.
      Anyway, thanks again.

      P.S. I myself am an environmentalist, but I’m an honest one. I seek real solutions, not ideas that fit into marketing campaigns.

      Just one more note. Can you clearly see why I should not be writing right now. 😉


  12. “I failed more than once.”
    Was that hard to write, my friend?
    I took courage, I bet, but you should be proud of the road you’ve traveled. You’ve forged your own path and while it was fraught with peril and failure, it’s yours and it led to greatness! Be proud; I’m proud to know you.


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